I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
