i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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