This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Boobs are out for the taking
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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