It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
why do cheetos always look like penises
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
