Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Randomize
