I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
