He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
