dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
