idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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