I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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