If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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