More tranny stories later!
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
