Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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