So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
