dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
