M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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