Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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