I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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