Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
