I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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