last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
