If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish i was in the wii world.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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