Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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