new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
