I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
