I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
