I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just invented taco cereal.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
