I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
