i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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