Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
