grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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