Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
