bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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