I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
