her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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