you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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