Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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