Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
