After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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