Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
