New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
