normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i dont even know how to be here
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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