i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
