I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
