Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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