i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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