My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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