On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
