so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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