I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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