U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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